Games, Reviews »
[August 7, 2006 | 
Ninjas in paradise
What, another first person shooter? Come on King, have some creativity. Oh wait, I’m King. So screw you, I like first person shooters. And this one just happens to be one of the best FPS games to on PC since the original Half Life and before the second Half Life. You could almost say it’s the middle child of two greats, and it’s pretty damn great itself. Although the plot isn’t terribly sensible, it’s fairly obvious that the game makers were trying …
Movies, Reviews »
[August 7, 2006 | 
Did you know Jesus was a Jew?
Well Kevin Smith fans, here it is: the final (?) portion of the Jay and Silent Bob series, and the sequel to the ultimate cult classic low budget indie film. And, this one didn’t suck nearly as bad as Jersey Girl (or so I’m told, anyway, I haven’t had a chance to watch that one just yet) and in many ways is actually better than the original. Kevin Smith really hit a career high here, although I have to admit it was …
Games, Reviews »
No cows were harmed in the making of this game
Who loves to shoot Nazis? Hmm? That’s right; everyone on this green earth who isn’t a Nazi likes to shoot Nazis. Perhaps that is one reason why this game is so freaking awesome. Perhaps it also helps that you play as a wide variety of different soldiers, from British to American to Soviet (sorry, no German, although you do get to impersonate one for a while). Or maybe it’s the weapons. There seems to be …
Movies, Reviews »
Ultimate conclusion of revenge thrilling, and such things.
Alright, kiddies, here’s the thrilling conclusion to the ultimate story of revenge. Or rather, the review of the thrilling conclusion to the ultimate story of revenge. And Quentin, you’re a genius. On these movies anyway. For those who didn’t bother reading my review of volume one (you should be ashamed!), this movie (and review) is really just a continuation of that. It still stars all the same people, is still written and directed by that genius Quentin Tarantino …
Movies, Reviews »
[July 9, 2006 | 
Pirates!
Here it is, perhaps the newest movie to be reviewed so far. It just barely came out the three days before I am writing this, so I managed to see it on opening weekend (thanks LilPickle). But as with many sequels that appear from Hollywood, this movie is shrouded in disappointment. It still sports swashbuckling-a-plenty, and enormous amounts of fun and entertainment, but it really just seemed to lack. A lot of the attitude and so called “heart” of the first movie simply didn’t carry over …
Movies, Reviews »
Getting ready for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, we thought reviewing the first Pirates would be timely.
Who’s in the mood for an adventurous tale with swashbuckling galore? Because with this movie you’ll capture exactly that. Adventure in the time of pirates and when the British were still a powerful nation. As this movie is already several years old and the sequel is damn near in theaters already, I’m sure there’s not a single person to read this that hasn’t already seen this immensely popular Disney …
Movies, Reviews »
We might be in a little bit of a pickle, Dick.
Ah, finally a movie with Jim Carrey where he doesn’t overact every scene. Not that I’m complaining, sometimes I really enjoy a good Jim Carrey irrelevant comedy, but there are other times that I really don’t. Fortunately, this movie is able to retain its comic value even with only one or two scenes of Jim’s usual interchangeable type of comedy. Directed by Dean Parisot and starring Jim Carrey, Tea Leoni, and Alec Baldwin, this movie is a …
Movies, Reviews »
If you don’t understand the humor behind it all, take that stick out of your ass and try again.
Quentin Tarantino, you genius, you’ve outdone yourself again. Just like Reservoir Dogs outdid Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction outdid Reservoir Dogs, this fantastic tale outdid even Pulp Fiction. And that’s saying an awful lot. Because Pulp Fiction is the shit. Yeah. Anyway, back to the review. From the very first scene of this movie right until the gripping cliffhanger at the very end, you will be …
Movies, Reviews »
[July 2, 2006 | 
…and the valleys got stuck with the ass-crack.
Wes Craven, at what point did you go crazy? Because it must have been sometime before this movie. The master of horror himself let me down. Of course, he only is credited as the writer of this movie, as it’s an update of his 1977 horror flick of the same name. But if I was Wes, I would have told director Alexandre Aja to cram it up his ass instead of putting my name on this piece of trash. …
Movies, Reviews »
Delightful
Here’s a movie that I forgot to review a long time ago, and one that is certainly due for it’s additional fifteen minutes in the spotlight (as if this review could be considered the spotlight, right?) I can only review this movie on the basis that it is quite possibly the best animated movie of all time. Right up there with Emperor’s New Groove (review coming soon, my minions).* Shrek really dazzles the audience with original humor, excellent voice over and even very believable animation, right from the …
(4 out of 5)