I will always heart Morgan Webb and want to hump her leg, but X-play’s review of Red Orchestra is off target.

Red Orchestra is dear to me. That’s because X-play’s review of this game actually aroused me. But that’s only (I swear) because Morgan is so hot when she’s angry–and boy was she hot. So when the free trial from steam came a knocking, I thought I’d at least give it a try. I’ve taken some time before starting this review though because I needed recovery time …

Ninjas in paradise

What, another first person shooter? Come on King, have some creativity. Oh wait, I’m King. So screw you, I like first person shooters. And this one just happens to be one of the best FPS games to on PC since the original Half Life and before the second Half Life. You could almost say it’s the middle child of two greats, and it’s pretty damn great itself. Although the plot isn’t terribly sensible, it’s fairly obvious that the game makers were trying …

More war at amplizine. We just can’t escape it.

Only the dead have seen the end of war. The game industry hasn’t even been looking for the end. We will always have an abundant supply of war games. This time around, it is yet another World War II game: Call of Duty. Is this the game to end all other WWII games? Well, it’s definitely a great game, but no one can stop the war machine from chugging along.

Join the Army, See the World, Meet …

Duty needs to learn to stop calling all the time or just leave a message.

So the other day I got this call… it was Duty, again. He was saying I had to go fight in some war they’re calling dubya dubya 2. I said, “You’re crazy! I already shot those damn Nazis so many times before. How do they keep coming back?” But I never got an answer because that asshole hung up on me. I sat there for a minute thinking of what …

No cows were harmed in the making of this game

Who loves to shoot Nazis? Hmm? That’s right; everyone on this green earth who isn’t a Nazi likes to shoot Nazis. Perhaps that is one reason why this game is so freaking awesome. Perhaps it also helps that you play as a wide variety of different soldiers, from British to American to Soviet (sorry, no German, although you do get to impersonate one for a while). Or maybe it’s the weapons. There seems to be …

Pookie feared rewriting War and Peace for this review, but LilPickle likes to live dangerously. You’ll need a potty break at some point–it’s that long.

A common thread that runs through all gamers and unites us is a little thing called Star Wars. If you consider yourself a gamer and don’t like Star Wars, then either you’re in denial or you’re just some n00b that thinks someone cares about your defiance and insecure need to stand out. If that’s the case, go find some other website and whine …

The rules of popularity apply similarly for games as they do for celebrities. With so many of them out there, it is important for them to stand out or they’ll end up in the $5 bin smoking man-pole for crack. The methods for standing out have been varied over time, but it usually involves being unique and entertaining even when you look back years later.

Others stand out in a negative way for how bad they really were.

Hypnotic gameplay and groovy tunes like never before, and I’m insane.

Original games for the PSP are rarer than amplizine readers. It’s like the little brother you give all your hand-me-downs to as if he can’t blaze his own trails. And so when a unique game finally does break away from the masses of sequels and shrunken ports, the last thing you’d expect is for it to be a puzzle game. From the creator of Rez and Space Channel 5, Lumines is a slick “fusion between music and …

Striking similarities between Scientology and Wipeout Pure: mere coincidences? or conspiracy?

I remember being a little squirt playing the Wipeout demo on the Playstation over and over again, bearing through all the unnecessary loading that comes with demo discs–it was that impressive. Mind-blowing speed, the dramatic battling for first, and unique tracks all helped make Wipeout one of the icons of modern gaming. But Wipeout went the way such as Tom Cruise is now going, and it makes you ashamed to admit you were a fan. I …

How stupid are you LilPickle? Did you forget how the Special Forces review went?

Since they’ve released Special Forces, I haven’t wanted to play any more of this messed up game. What good are new maps, new vehicles, and special guns when all on-foot combat sucks, controls are glitchy and laggy, and no one is willing to play the new maps with the new vehicles? Then their European Forces booster came out… *yawn*. Then Armored Fury was next, and I couldn’t help but wonder if people cared …