Stupid monkeys…

What do you get when you throw together a giant gaming company like EA, a developer like Dice, and tons of money and manpower? A whole mess of ruined expectations is what. Being the most anticipated first person shooter of 2005 on pc, it really knows how to piss me off. But it provides a good example of how people will continue to play a game when there are better ones out there. So let the hate mail pour in and cover the children’s ears and eyes! EA’s ugly baby isn’t going to be spared any embarrasment.

To start this off, I’ll cover the good points. The award and ranking system is great and keeps you playing. Unlocking new kits for multiplayer should be done in more games. Expanding maps for a different number of players works well. The graphics are amazing and run smoothly. Once the initial bugs were worked out of the vehicles, they were entertaining and felt solid. And there is no inherent problem causing consistent connection problems. I guess another bonus is I can stop playing it any time I want.

With that (short) paragraph out of the way, I will proceed to spank EA. What use is a crappy control system in an intense battle scene like this? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want anything other than WASD. What I’m getting at is mouse movements represented on screen, sprinting, jumping, etc. The point of a game’s interface is to make you not even notice its existence, but when I play Battlefield 2, all I can think about is how terrible the movements are compared to what I wanted it to do. What’s the point of even having the stamina bar if it never prevents people from bunny hopping relentlessly? Have you ever tried jumping with that much gear on, Dice? Even sprinting over little curbs occasionally stops up your movement completely. Trying to use the scope on some weapons is just asking for trouble, as it will either bounce your reticle around the screen initially or will decide you really didn’t mean to zoom in at all. Instead of being a soldier in a modern battlefield, I end up feeling like I’m driving a soap box car down a bumpy hill using only 2 thin strands of twine to steer… with no brakes… and a screaming monkey on my back flinging poo into my eyes. I can’t express how much movements piss me off.

Next up on my list is audio, as it was a problem in 1942 as well. A truly skilled player should just by the sound of a gun be able to identify the location of the shooter. And this game would allow that but for some reason the only thing you hear is the bullet whizzing by your head (you rarely hear the gunshot as it should be heard). Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but unless the gun is silenced, the loudest part of the process is THE GUN! I know people will say I’m just complaining, but listen closer next time. I believe you should be able to hear gunshots much further away than you already do. Other audio problems like crackling in turret movement just don’t keep me immersed in the game. AND NO, IT’S NOT A HARDWARE PROBLEM!

When it comes to first person shooters, I also expect a singleplayer capability. I’m not always able to be online, but I might still want to be able to shoot the never ending supply of Nazis running rampant in the video game world. This is yet another problem with Battlefield 2, and I don’t mean because there aren’t actually any Nazis. You aren’t allowed to play all of the maps, and the ones you can play are restricted to the smallest 16 player boundaries. They may argue that this is because running so many bots alongside you is too taxing on the computer, but the AI isn’t that good to begin with. And the only difficulty increase arises from enemy AI shooting skill, not tactics.

Perhaps the most important flaw is the shooting characteristics of guns. Again this isn’t my personal skill at first person shooters talking, it’s my personal skill differing in this specific game from all the others. I realize “realism” is being portrayed, but when sniper rifles can’t even hit a guy standing still at 100 yards away, that is just ridiculous. I have a better chance of hitting him with the AK-101. Leading the target and drop used to be my speciality in previous Battlefield games, but this one I can’t seem to figure out. It is so drastically different and never seems to follow a pattern. Power is another concern. A fifty caliber sniper rifle won’t give the target a second chance, even in non-vital hit zones. Two shotgun blasts point blank to someone’s back should at least prevent them from turning on you immediately (unless of course his monkey created a magic shield composed of poo).

I understand the hardest aspect of creating multiplayer games is balancing weapons’ power, accuracy, and speed. But I have to say Dice could have done a much better job. I am extremely disappointed that movement feels weak, guns don’t function as expected, and people still think this is a good game. I can imagine how solid this game should have been, but what I see is too far from it. To throw salt into the wound, EA is pushing more expansion packs on us rather than selling one complete game to begin with. I can’t recommend to anyone to buy the expansion packs until they fix the existing gameplay issues that keep this game from being all that it can be. Altogether, I’m forced to give Battlefield 2 2 screaming monkeys of 5

UPDATE:

Well it figures that as soon as I get my first game review out, there would be some drastic change to the game. On February 14, 2006, a new patch for Battlefield 2 came out and sent the screaming monkeys a’packin’. From what I’ve seen so far, many of the issues I had with the game have been addressed quite splendidly causing me to re-score the game. But I cautiously keep my dancing to myself. I’m positive there are still going to be issues, and as everyone knows, patches have at least 10 bugs themselves. This is just disappointing when the game industry continues to release buggy and incomplete software. I guess it’s equally disappointing when games are delayed months on end, so I guess gamers are just stuck in the middle until the industry gets its act together.

Of all the reasons for keeping Battlefield 2’s rating down, the only major one that remains deals with singleplayer gameplay. If even just a campaign mode was given with plenty of options, this game would recieve the perfect 5 out of 5. Still, jumping from a 2 to the new 4 rating is quite a feat with a single patch. Even the screaming monkeys have considered directing their antics elsewhere.  4 not quite so rampant monkeys out of 5

FUCK THIS GAME:

I grow tired of their fuckups at Dice, and I’m tired of EA altogether. So many patches that “fix” one thing but introduce so many more problems. Weapons are still not balanced, and the controls never feel any better. But they certainly are happy to push more expansions on us and completely rework all the award requirements. You’ve had a whole year to do it right guys; you’ve lost it. I don’t even care that you want to release a new map without asking for money in return.  3 out of 5, now go make 2142 balanced DICE