Duty needs to learn to stop calling all the time or just leave a message.

So the other day I got this call… it was Duty, again. He was saying I had to go fight in some war they’re calling dubya dubya 2. I said, “You’re crazy! I already shot those damn Nazis so many times before. How do they keep coming back?” But I never got an answer because that asshole hung up on me. I sat there for a minute thinking of what I should do. Eventually, I wistfully started to put on my ass-kicking boots, grabbed my Thompson, and headed for the door.

Frag the weak, hurdle the dead

The Greatest Generation is once again in the fight for justice, morality, and their very lives in Call of Duty 2. Just as in the previous CoD, you play as everyday soldiers in the British, Russian, and American armies in the European theater against the Nazis. I wonder what my lifetime Nazi killcount is up to by now–I mean I’ve been killing Nazis since B-17 Bomber back on Intellivision.  A tenth of a million sounds close enough.

If you’ve played any WW2 game… no wait, if you’ve even heard of WW2, you can pretty much predict what kinds of things you’ll see in CoD2. Assaulting this bunker, defending this position, calling in artillery, and jumping on a mounted machine gun are the typical situations you’ll find yourself in. But there are a few special segments that interrupt the run-of-the-mill stuff, such as commanding a tank or manning an AA gun. You’ll win the war with the two guns you are allowed to carry, but you’ll also find yourself occasionally switching them out for the weapons scattered on the battlefield as things get hairy. And you’ll never be alone in the struggle as friendly squads are everywhere supporting you.

Where’s the beef?

If Call of Duty is considered the first perfect World War 2 shooter, what can they possibly do for a sequel? I mean we’ve seen every mission and locale already from the hundreds of other games, and they weren’t all bad. The WW2 game cash cow’s teats have got to be chafing and sore by now.

Well fear not (or at least not too much), Call of Duty 2 delivers when it comes to a unique experience. Though it isn’t original, nearly everything about it is extremely well done. Mmmmm, well done cash cow… From the sound of Messerschmitts and P-51s roaring overhead, to the adrenaline rush you get when taking cover from a hidden MG nest, you will be completely immersed in this game.

Is it hot enough for ya?

The graphics, though sluggish at times and not entirely tweaked, can be breathtaking. Even the smoke looks like they spent at least a week crafting it. The audio design is spectacular and adds more to the experience than anything else. Battlefield 2 should be ashamed of itself after hearing this game’s sound (I said I’d never let that game forget). And then the scripted sequences are perfectly planned and well executed. The tanks rolling overhead with you in the trench immediately below them is suspenseful, but crawling through the pipes when stray fire pierces the metal all around you is even more dramatic.

New gameplay changes really help create such a powerful atmosphere. Long gone are the days of searching for medpacs because you no longer have a health meter. CoD2 takes more of a Halo approach by not allowing you to take too many hits in a short time. This allows you to focus more on the battle and never leaves you in a difficult spot with only a sliver of health. Plus, those damn Nazis can be quite fierce, making you play smart rather than Rambo-ing it. Smoke grenades and cover are your best friends (especially the dead cow variety of cover), so tactics are emphasized.

Now for the dirty of the so called “dozen”

Who programmed this fucking A.I.? The enemy seems to think you are a general, and your friendlies must think you have blanks in your cartridge. What happened to “no one soldier wins a war,” or “there’s no I in team?” Don’t expect to be able to run in the open–even if you bait the Nazis with friendlies–because they always drop everything to shoot at little ol’ you. A battalion could be between you and the enemy, but they’ll bother to shoot at you first. So when you get a chance to return fire, you are determined to make them count. Nope, Pvt. Dickweed thinks it’s more important for him to get a look than it is for you to shoot the guy he wants to see. It never fails, too. Just as you are about to take a shot, some goofus gets in the way. I’m normally good with ff, but because of your generally limited point of view looking down the sights, and the massive part of the screen that it takes, you don’t have any warning for the impending stupidity. And if that isn’t the problem, they certainly will get right behind you, eliminating the possiblity of a quick escape. I find this problem is easily remedied by a swift rifle butt to the face.

Play against anyone in the world in World War II

Yeah, there is a multiplayer mode, but this is clearly a singleplayer game. What? Why do you care so much? Fine, I’ll talk about it if it will appease you. You pick up some guns, shoot each other, and repeat. What? You want more? Fine, there are Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Capture the Flag, Headquarters, and Search & Destroy modes. But I’m honestly not rating this game with multiplayer in mind. “It’s no CS” says it all.

So who wins?

*SPOILER ALERT* In a surprise twist, the Nazis win at the end. Okay, that’s an outright lie. The developers win for creating a great game, and Activision definitely wins for making more money, but I don’t know if the gamers win. I don’t think we need more WW2 games right now. In fact, I think I’ve got WW2 game bulimia. But then again, the only downfall to this game, other than the bingeing, is the annoying A.I. (I swear it’s taunting me).

Bottom line: CoD2 is an excellent game worthy of praise. The experience it provides is amazing and unforgettable. People that have never played such a great game should start here, but people that have played other WW2 games might be disappointed by it. We’ve seen and done it all before and would rather play some other multiplayer game. Only the gamers that can’t get enough of the WW2 shooters will fully enjoy this title.

4 beef cakes out of 5

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