I will always heart Morgan Webb and want to hump her leg, but X-play’s review of Red Orchestra is off target.

Red Orchestra is dear to me. That’s because X-play’s review of this game actually aroused me. But that’s only (I swear) because Morgan is so hot when she’s angry–and boy was she hot. So when the free trial from steam came a knocking, I thought I’d at least give it a try. I’ve taken some time before starting this review though because I needed recovery time …

Ninjas in paradise

What, another first person shooter? Come on King, have some creativity. Oh wait, I’m King. So screw you, I like first person shooters. And this one just happens to be one of the best FPS games to on PC since the original Half Life and before the second Half Life. You could almost say it’s the middle child of two greats, and it’s pretty damn great itself. Although the plot isn’t terribly sensible, it’s fairly obvious that the game makers were trying …

More war at amplizine. We just can’t escape it.

Only the dead have seen the end of war. The game industry hasn’t even been looking for the end. We will always have an abundant supply of war games. This time around, it is yet another World War II game: Call of Duty. Is this the game to end all other WWII games? Well, it’s definitely a great game, but no one can stop the war machine from chugging along.

Join the Army, See the World, Meet …

Duty needs to learn to stop calling all the time or just leave a message.

So the other day I got this call… it was Duty, again. He was saying I had to go fight in some war they’re calling dubya dubya 2. I said, “You’re crazy! I already shot those damn Nazis so many times before. How do they keep coming back?” But I never got an answer because that asshole hung up on me. I sat there for a minute thinking of what …

No cows were harmed in the making of this game

Who loves to shoot Nazis? Hmm? That’s right; everyone on this green earth who isn’t a Nazi likes to shoot Nazis. Perhaps that is one reason why this game is so freaking awesome. Perhaps it also helps that you play as a wide variety of different soldiers, from British to American to Soviet (sorry, no German, although you do get to impersonate one for a while). Or maybe it’s the weapons. There seems to be …

The rules of popularity apply similarly for games as they do for celebrities. With so many of them out there, it is important for them to stand out or they’ll end up in the $5 bin smoking man-pole for crack. The methods for standing out have been varied over time, but it usually involves being unique and entertaining even when you look back years later.

Others stand out in a negative way for how bad they really were.

How stupid are you LilPickle? Did you forget how the Special Forces review went?

Since they’ve released Special Forces, I haven’t wanted to play any more of this messed up game. What good are new maps, new vehicles, and special guns when all on-foot combat sucks, controls are glitchy and laggy, and no one is willing to play the new maps with the new vehicles? Then their European Forces booster came out… *yawn*. Then Armored Fury was next, and I couldn’t help but wonder if people cared …

Some of you may already know how I feel about Battlefield 2. I’m pretty sure my neighbors know what I think about it. But in case you’re one of the lucky people that don’t know, I’ll give you my condensed gripe. If it wasn’t for the whole on-foot combat deal, it would be a good game. But for some reason they thought battles should have troops and firearms, causing controls that are non-responsive, weapons that are “realistic AND balanced,” and many temptations to put my fist …

The most kick-ass physicist since Stephen Hawking returns to take it to the man; G-man that is.

Welcome, gracious readers to my first review of a video game. And we shall start with perhaps the grandest PC game to be released in quite some time: Half Life 2. After long bated breath and wishing I wasn’t poor, I eventually acquired this game (Thanks Aaron) some 6 months after it had been released. As I finally get around to the review, it’s more than a year after …

Episodes invade!

Finally, an episode that doesn’t suck like Star Wars Episode II, is more exciting than an episode of Matlock, and just as crazy as that one episode you had when you found out the kid you’ve been raising for the past 10 years wasn’t actually yours. Don’t worry, this one game might just make you forget about the whole incident–it’s that good.

Picking up right at the end of Half-Life 2, Episode One throws the story into overdrive as you and Alyx and Dog go on the mission to …