Just for clarification, this is the NEW version of the movie, not the old version. This is the version that editor-in-chief LilPickle refuses to watch. But little does he (and many other people) realize this version is far superior to the prior vintage musical. And no, before you ask, this is NOT a musical. Music does play an important role in this updated flick, but at no point do you have to sit and endure the new version of “Cheer up Charlie,” which is ...]]>

The Burton-ized remake

Just for clarification, this is the NEW version of the movie, not the old version. This is the version that editor-in-chief LilPickle refuses to watch. But little does he (and many other people) realize this version is far superior to the prior vintage musical. And no, before you ask, this is NOT a musical. Music does play an important role in this updated flick, but at no point do you have to sit and endure the new version of “Cheer up Charlie,” which is most good because that song blew my left nut. In fact, the only singing you have to endure here is the all new and very creative Oompa Loompa songs. Directed by the acclaimed Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp, this delightful romp actually makes dark movies fun again. But before you go saying things like “King, it’s supposed to be a light, airy movie,” I say shut your piehole for a sec and check this out: the movie is based off a book, and the book took on a very dark theme. This movie was far truer to the original story than the 1971 flick.

Plot

Reclusive chocolatier Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp) realizes that he is getting old and must assign an heir to his factory, and since he has no family to speak of, he sends out five golden tickets in a world-wide lottery. After much hope and several candy bars, a very poor lad by the name of Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore) discovers a golden ticket. He and his grandfather are then to be taken on a tour of the enormous Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. But you probably all knew that anyway. The plot here is vaguely similar to the original movie. Also, the same characters still exist with the same mannerisms (although they are updated to current day standards). In the end, the same offer to Charlie still exists, but it’s here that the filmmakers took a slightly different path by remaining truer to the book. Charlie actually denies the offer for the factory at first because Willy Wonka does not want Charlie to ever see his family again. But after some time, Wonka realizes the error of his ways and allows Charlie’s family to come live in the factory and everyone lives happily ever after and so on. One other key plot difference between this and the original flick, is that the new one no longer utilizes the whole “everlasting gobstopper” thing, where the competition guy tries to bribe the children who go on the tour to bring him the gobstopper. Tim Burton wisely chose to leave that out of this movie.

Visual

Quite stunning. Key visuals include the dirty, leaning shanty that the Bucket family lives in, the snow-covered town bustling with people, the huge, mysterious factory, and so on. It is quite easy to buy into the visuals’ hook, line and sinker here–and that’s all before entering the factory. The factory itself is filled with awe-inspiring CGI and even real creations of candy and chocolate. Everything in the factory is made to look straight from the pages of the original book, and the execution is absolutely flawless. Another signature visual is the use of only one Oompa Loompa (Deep Roy) and using CGI to recreate Oompa Loompas in the hundreds. But, this is no cheesy effect. Deep Roy actually acted out several different movements per scene, and all were added together to create each scene. Perfectly executed.

Audio

I can’t stress enough how happy I am that “Cheer up Charlie” did not make it into the update. God I hated that song. Plus, all the Oompa Loompa songs are catchy and original, and none of them sound the same. This really helps make a different feel for the movie: it doesn’t quite seem so rehearsed, instead it really seems much more on-the-spot. As for sound effects, nothing truly stunning to speak of, but all was done very tastefully and noting seemed out of place.

Acting

Everything in this section was quite spot-on. Johnny Depp perfectly played the reclusive chocolate king. From the flashbacks to the confused looks, everything about Willy Wonka was fantastically executed by Depp. As for the other actors, they all gave remarkable performances, but I think you’d have to watch the movie to truly respect the performances.

Summary

For all you people who refuse to open their minds to this movie, you’re all jerks. This movie rocked. And I say that from a professional standpoint of course (I don’t see your movie reviews on websites, do I?). So here’s the final word: unclench that butthole a bit and go rent this movie. I’m sure blockbuster will have a copy or twelve, and I highly doubt my review is going to make twelve people in every major city go to blockbuster and rent this movie. Anyway, I do need to summarize and say that this movie was a far superior update from the old vintage seventies flick with Gene Wilder. Even if you don’t believe everything I said prior to this point, I very strongly recommend this movie to people of all ages. It’s worth your time, I promise. Oh and LilPickle? I expect you to borrow this movie any day now…*

5 Squirrels’ nuts out of 5

*Editor’s Note: …And I expect one of these days I’ll get a review from you that we can agree on its star rating, but that doesn’t mean either will happen. I just want to clarify that I refuse to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory ever again, and because of that, I don’t want to watch this version. It’s like a mouse hitting the shock button the first time and later being told it was changed to the food release button–I still won’t risk getting shocked when the old food release button continues to work. Damn scientists.