Special indeed

The package does a number of things: it gives you special kits that you can use not only in SF servers, but also in normal BF2 servers; it gives you new maps to run around in; and those new maps have new vehicles in them. Wait, I paid 30 bucks for that? I’ve been had.

I was expecting dramatically different gameplay. New guns, new scenarios, new equipment, new tactics–each of those things would be interdependent, and I could then forgive the sloppy, laggy controls. FUCK! I don’t even have to play the game to get as angry as I normally would, I merely have to think about it. None of my expectations came true! I could’ve run a cheese grater across my face and saved myself the money.

MMMM, shredded cheese

What the package really does: it spits in the face of people that are too smart to pay for an extra serving of shitty gameplay and a side of guns; it gives you new maps… that aren’t ever played online because people would rather play Karkand AGAIN; and it taunts you with the new vehicles you’ll never see because THEY’RE ONLY ON THOSE MAPS NO ONE PLAYS.

Yeah, there are servers out there that play new maps and try to take advantage of the new tactics and equipment. But in the end, they are still just as fucked up as BF2 games. Zip lines, grappling hooks, night vision, tear gas and all the new gimmicks don’t make a difference when the weapons are so thrown out of whack from poor balancing, the battlefields aren’t conducive to any new tactics, and the controls still suck.

Warning: oncoming rant!

How am I supposed to snipe someone quickly when I right-click to zoom in and the game lags back out or uncontrollably dances my scope across the screen like a fairy? And even if it doesn’t dance or zoom back out immediately, I have to let the gun “settle” before shooting? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? The only settling in real life would be on the end of the person holding the gun, and you don’t have to fucking simulate that for me because my arm is still a part of the aiming process! You’re telling me that I wasn’t ready to shoot when I’ve already moved the crosshair to the prick I want to shoot, stopped moving the mouse, and clicked! What part of that wasn’t I ready for or hadn’t already executed that I have to give the gun a second to catch up with me? So many times I’ve missed the easiest targets because of bullshit like that, when the crosshair was plainly on the stationary, unaware guy’s head.

Or just running and gunning, I keep the crosshair on the guy and burst fire. Even with movements and repeated firing, I make it a point to not let the reticle extend further that the width of the guy at that range, but it still misses three quarters of the time. And when it takes 6 shots from a pistol to kill a guy, I’d have to shoot 24 times to kill him. I get the distinct impression that the fuckers at DICE got too wrapped up in balancing every damn thing they didn’t realize how retarded they were making it. Even worse–after they “balanced” everything–they decided to throw “realism” in the mix. Call me crazy, but getting shot once is usually enough. Maybe they need a demonstration at DICE so they can get a dose of realism. What is this 6 shot kill bullshit? What pisses me off the most is there is always that one guy who’s mastered this shitty setup and can kill you in 2 shots every time, no matter the gun or distance.

EA is putting down the people that just want to have fun by saying, “If you don’t buy this expansion pack, you can’t have as much fun as the people who pay us to be shitty.” I’m insulted by the continuing poor quality, high price for a bunch of lousy maps, and lack of noticeable difference in gameplay. New maps should be not only unique, but free to everyone, otherwise people will just play on the server with a population (which happens to be 24/7 Karkand) Releasing Wake Island for free was the smartest (the only smart one) move you guys have made. Don’t overload us with maps that don’t benefit tactics or teamwork. And most importantly, don’t punish the loyal gamers for not buying each of your expansions. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD THEY HAVE TO PLAY WITH SHITTY GUNS against the better special guns just because they think you don’t deserve their money?

And another thing… the only benefit you get from owning this is the use of the new guns. But the game is so fucking glitchy that you aren’t even guaranteed the ability to use them everytime. One round you’ll be happily using them, and the next, it won’t even acknowledge their existence. That is unless of course you log out, log back in, rejoin whatever stupid server you were in, miss out on the first 5 minutes of the game and hope you get lucky.

I want the assholes in charge at DICE to know, I WON’T STAND FOR THIS KIND OF CRAP. FIX YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS AND STOP CHARGING US OUTRAGEOUS PRICES FOR INCOMPLETE SOFTWARE. This expansion is far from worthwhile and should’ve been included as part of the game last year when BF2 released. And it definitely isn’t worth 30 bucks when all you end up with is a new set of virtual guns that magically disappear. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go reduce some stress somehow so I can get to sleep tonight.

1 hit out of 5 shots!? WTF!

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]